Foggy Eyes and Skin

I stayed up way to late last night getting into a book, but even with my foggy -cried out contacts and lack of sleep I am grateful I did! Have you ever read Heaven is Here? If not, and you have some quiet moments to cry and be uplifted at the same time, go pick it up! You can also read about this amazing woman on her blog.  I haven’t read her blog until now, don’t know how I missed it when people in Germany are regulars, but I am happy to report I am now a follower.

This story about a woman from Provo, Utah has brought me back to reality and what is important.  She had a beautiful life, a cute love story with her hubby, 4 beautiful kids, a prospering blog, bundles of talent and a dog.  She, her pilot husband, and a friend/teacher were in a plane crash.  She was burned on 80% of her body, her husband was also burned and broke his back, and the friend lost ….well I’ll let you find out when you read it.  Her book takes you through this beautiful life, then shows you the painfulness of her recovery and now (what I am reading) her continual strength and she tries to pick up her life as a mother and wife and other multiple roles.  She has kept such a beautiful and tearful record of many events and I am astonished at her strength.  I hope I can continue to feel the joy that I feel today as I look at how blessed I am in my life. I spent the night reading and glancing over at my handsome, sleeping husband.  I spent the morning soaking in moments with my two daughters.  I love their laughter, their excitement, their accomplishments and their playfulness.  Now,as the nap peacefully I blog to make an account of my feelings.  In her book she talks about how blogging became her outlet as she lived away from family and friends. I reminded me of someone I once knew.  A more fervent blogger, myself.  So I want to be better at writing to make a small record for my family and me.  I have soooo many thoughts going through my mind, so we’ll see how this post goes.

Being burned in a fire has always been a huge fear of mine. I admire those who have suffered through the pain and recovery.  I cannot imagine.  I cannot compare my life to them at all, but it made me grateful for the skin I have. I tan easily and most of the time my complexion is good, but I was born with Eczema, a dry skin condition that I deal with daily. There are moments throughout my life when I wished it would go away. I wondered why I was the sibling with Eczema and contacts and the others didn’t have to “deal with them.” I have to “cream” as my mother always called it, “lotion” just doesn’t seem to work, all the time-especially after contact with water. 

When I was little I got hives, boils and scabs.  I had dry spots that itched like crazy. I have a vivid memory of sitting in a California condo when I was about 2, looking out the window at the ocean while my mom lathered me with Eucerin and Hydrocortisone after a day at the beach.  It stung like crazy and I remember the tears.  I also remember waking up early some mornings and crying to my mom of the pain I had.  We sat on the couch as she viewed my boils and turned into nurse mom.  I remember going to the Great Salt Lake for the first (and last) time and screaming as the water seemed to burn my skin.  I remember again, my loving mother being there to wash me off and “cream me” as I sat in the hot car waiting for my “California cousins” and siblings to finish up their beach moment.  I think it was cut short because of me. ):

There were summer days filled with going to “the club” aka our neighborhood pool and I had to hurry and “cream” before my skin dried out.  I had (should still do it daily) to lotion and wear socks to bed so my feet don’t get cracks. I have always hated my hands and feet because of the dry cracks and the wrinkles (something my friends and I laughed about in high school).

I have vivid memories of seeing a dermatologist as a teen and being embarrassed as he had to look at my stomach ad back to solve some skin problems.  I worked for a dermatologist for 3 years and found that all the samples in the world just help for a little while. Cortisone shots are also a quick fix, but I’m not about to get one all the time.  For me it comes down to keeping Cetaphil in business, using gloves for washing dishes, and hydrocortisone for the occasional bad hands.  Having babies is the hardest because I am constantly washing my hands.  In the past few years my hands have taken the brunt of the beating and have had their months of pain and cuts.  My feet are the worst in the summer and I occasionally hobble into the bath to soak them before bed.  It just becomes the norm. I deal with it when I can. I was recently told I should try fish oil and a diet of lots of tuna fish.  We’ll see about that…

(photo from ‘08)

I hate the touch of certain fabrics because it gets stuck on my little dry flakes of my skin. You know that classic wedding shot of the hands and the rings? we have one, it was never displayed nor do I can to look at it. My husband and I try to keep good humor about it. He calls my feet gross, especially when I have been barefoot and outside all day. I don’t blame him.  He cannot hold my hands sometimes because of the cuts, he jokes about my Cetaphil addiction.  I LOVE the feeling of creamy hands, he won’t hold mine if I cream before our nightly prayer. (: He tells me we have to dust more often than others, I have to have different soap for me and I don’t wear a lot of good smelling lotion, because it doesn’t always help, or feel that good.  I loathe sanitizer as well.  I make him wipe the girls when I can so I don’t have to wash my hands, again. It is a good excuse - right?

Dealing with something small on a daily basis can be a bother and I have plenty of bad memories, but it isn’t life threatening. If this is my “lot in life,” at least for now, I’ll take it.  I am grateful my girls don’t have it and that I can take care of it. I have so many blessings and have healthy family members and overall a fantastic life.